I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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