OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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