Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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