is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
