Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
