I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
