you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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