TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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