Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my sisters under your porch take her home
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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