bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
