It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
