you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
