So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize