ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
