At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Found your dick twin last night
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize