They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
