I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
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