Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
