Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
