Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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