We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
