I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
