she was so not down for the gang bang
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
