Its about making memories worth repressing
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
