Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize