No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize