Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My dick has a subreddit
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
