no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
