I don't think brook has ever known best
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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