You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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