I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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