I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize