Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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