Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
