put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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