There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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