where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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