I think I won the penis lottery.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
