I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
