I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
