my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
