East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
nutella sex= disaster
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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