I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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