Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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