I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
