dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
