Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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