Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
thus making me awesome and them whores
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
