is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
