just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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