bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize