Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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