I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
