no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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