new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
