i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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