I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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