I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
