I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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