Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
